Looking For My Wild Card

April 6, 2021. This poem keeps teasing me to “do something” – perhaps posting it will stimulate clarity. It’s a product of a rich writing session with Ali Grimshaw (flashlight batteries – Ali Grimshaw) back in March – triggered by the Kim Stafford poem Ali shared and by group energies – then reinforced a couple of days later reading this quote from Pablo Casals: “It takes courage to listen to your own goodness and act on it. Do we dare to be ourselves?”

I’ll dare to share my angst with growing tensions in my state, in my country. I see no clear path toward meeting in the middle, given so many choose “loyalty to cause” over any tiny concession. But I can smile at those standing in line for vaccinations, neighbors in their front yards, people in the grocery store – not knowing which side they are on but recognizing we are all in the same mess. A wild card is an unknown or unpredictable factor influencing outcome. I can hope some good ones come into play. I can hope I recognize chances to be a wild card in personal encounters. And I can embrace inner wild card appearances that nurture my own understanding.

Image is my 2021 focus mandala (addendum to 2020 Uncertainty mandala).

18 thoughts on “Looking For My Wild Card

  1. As always, food for thought. Thank you. In Australia, although mass conflict is not an issue, there are many, many ‘minority’ conflicts with ‘major’ consequences within our culturally diverse society that demand our attention. I generally keep my cards close to my chest, as inner conflict is about all I can manage at the moment. But I send out healing energy hoping that I can make a miniscule difference. Regards, Gaye ❤

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    1. Gaye, thank you – the inner conflict has to come first! Too many let loose without questioning, just going along with the crowd mentality.
      Nice to have an Australian perspective here – welcome!

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  2. Avoiding the crowd (ie mob) mentality often appears less difficult than it actually is; So many of us think we’re free of it, but we must remain vigilant, constantly reminding ourselves otherwise, or we slip away. Fortunately, this geezer has found that it does, indeed, become easier with age (or maybe we oldies are more easily self-deceived). Hmmm’
    Write on, sister

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    1. Agreed, Ron – age is an asset, comes with repeated experiences, each forcing me to see prior experiences a bit differently. Maybe I’m still a bit self-deceived in the present? Probably all are!

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  3. “Might I become a mirror to others…” Yes, that’s one of my dearest hopes, too — as long as I’m going to be an introvert in this life for whom there’s no remedy, I might as well hope for any bit of putting myself out there on behalf of others (because it’s always for others that I do so, gladly and gratefully, however long a nap I then need…) to make a positive difference. Having a wildcard side is no joke. 🙂💖

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    1. Thank you, Stephanie, kindred soul. I too find politics and world events exhausting – I made myself a vow in 2020 to stay tuned to all that was occurring with politics and COVID and racial tensions, and I’m continuing my daily dose of news from a sense of responsibility. Some people seem to thrive on the energies of arguing and trying to change one another. Stuff that makes me need a NAP NOW.

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  4. I’d like that ‘wild card’ too – the ability to stand up for what I believe in and hopefully inspire others. It is difficult to understand the chaos that is happening in the world now. Staying true to yourself and making sure you are okay is important.

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    1. My focus is primarily inward, learning to accept variances between others as OK, that I do not have to change the other … but seems wise to try to understand the other … I do wish we humans were more cooperative with one another! I hope my interactions promote such …

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  5. Much food for thought in your poem and in the comments.
    I believe that sometimes the wildcard of kindness can have an impact that ripples outward. Read a piece (maybe in an Oprah magazine?) about a bus driver who had a bunch of glum, unhappy passengers on his bus. He made an announcement over the loudspeaker telling people that as they left the bus they could drop their troubles in his open palm and that later he would drop the troubles off a bridge. People smiled and most did drop their troubles in his palm. So, many people are in angst and fear. Anyway, at times I think being extra kind (and boy to I have to work at it!) is important.

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  6. Thans for your thoughtful response, Betty. Curiously, a couple of hours ago I participated in a group write (zoom) centered on Kindness. Kindness as wild card – great perspective! Wonderful story about the bus driver.

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  7. Jazz,
    I really like this poem and look at all of the wonderful responses you have received from others.
    A wild card could be a willingness or openness to how you could be. I like surprising myself by being willing to try on different ways of thinking. I don’t have to agree to be curious about how others see a situation. I too want to be a mirror and I think I do that best with listening.
    Thank you for joining my writing circles in 2020. It is always an honor to hold space for others.
    Take good care.
    Ali

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